We help DTC brands drive
six-figure sales spikes every month
with edgy, founder-voice emails.
And we'll make you $100,000–$500,000 in "new money" from your list in the next 90 days (or less). Guaranteed.
▶ Watch the 4-minute breakdown, then book your call below
Current & former clients
Chris is hands down the best copywriter I've ever worked with, and it's not even close. I had a vision for how I wanted to communicate to customers but I can't write for shit — Chris takes my personality and brings the brand voice to life. The result has been over $100 million in sales.
Your retention stinks because people
hate reading your emails.
You pour money into ads to land the first sale, then watch those customers disappear. The only way to bring them back is by running another sale that kills your margin. And your email still limps along at 10% of revenue when you know it should be 3-4x higher.
Here's why this happens: your emails read like everyone else's. Generic promos people delete on sight. They read like something ChatGPT vomited out that morning (which is exactly what most agencies do, btw). Nobody opens them because nobody feels anything, so the customers you already paid for never bond with your brand, and never come back unless you're dangling a coupon in front of them (and training them to ONLY buy when there's a discount available).
Your brand had an edge once. When you were young, hungry, and scrappy. But as you scaled, your emails got safer and safer. And now they blend in with everyone else in your industry. They're bland. They're limp. Easily forgettable. The only real sin in marketing is being too boring. It's time to breathe some life back into your email marketing. And we're just the team to do it.
You already paid to acquire these customers.
It's time you got paid back.
(and hundreds of millions more for other clients)
More client success stories
We hired Chris and his team to build the automated email flows for our new Rich Dad ecommerce store. They did an incredible job and delivered first-class service all the way through. Their copy perfectly matched the voice of the Rich Dad brand, and their sequences are converting incredibly well. I highly recommend them.
A true pro in an industry of many average copywriters. Chris has been amazing to work with — he consistently writes copy that generates leads and millions of dollars in sales for us. He's one of the few copywriters I've worked with who we can count on to deliver what we need, on time and on budget.
If you want to make more money but, most importantly, serve the most people at your highest and best capacity, hire Chris.
We made $5,170,445 in sales in the first 30 days! The first five emails Chris wrote for us generated over $100,000 in the first three hours of our Kickstarter launch. We also added 18,550 new buyers to our house list. His copy is clear, engaging, and fun to read, and most importantly, it'll make you a fortune. Hire him before your competition does.
We made $82K in the first two days of our Kickstarter — in large part thanks to Chris' launch series. Our previous campaign only raised $40K in the first two days, with a list barely 3,000 people smaller. The launch sequence converted, and our open and click rates jumped significantly.
After diving deep into Facebook ads and spending thousands on them, I knew email was the next thing I had to tackle — I was leaving thousands on the table with no email strategy. Turns out it was a good idea: email is now bringing in over 30% of my ecommerce revenue, up from 9%, and my subscriptions doubled in the first two months.
We worked with Chris and his team on a prelaunch email sequence to hype our customers for our largest Early Bird, pre-holiday sale of the year. We got over $33K in revenue — before the sale even started — from emails that technically didn't "sell" anything, and it built huge momentum once the sale went live. The whole process is extremely easy, and they make sure the voice of the emails is in line with your company. Very happy overall!
Not only did Chris set up all my customer segments and automations perfectly, his style and sense of humor noticeably improved my open rates. Orzy Media increased sales by 10× in both my abandoned cart and welcome-back flows. I'd advise anyone serious about taking their email game to the next level to use Chris. A word of advice though… you may want to hire a customer service rep to handle the influx of customers telling you how cool your emails are ;)
We just made $23,690.41 over 4 emails to only 5,600 subscribers — you guys rock!
Having a monster day today — 330+ orders, $22.5K in revenue. The more exciting thing is email is helping us rescue our MER… we're getting paid to scale and can grow fast.
We made over $100,000 in our first month with Orzy — and since then, he's helped our brand grow 2,181% in 18 months.
I hired Chris to write the flows and handle our email broadcasts for my dietary supplement ecommerce brand. As soon as he took control of the account, we saw an immediate increase in revenue per subscriber. We doubled our email revenue in under 90 days working with Orzy. I've worked with several email marketers, and Chris is by far the best.
Before Orzy, we'd seen a flatline of sales and open rates in our Welcome Series. Since working with Orzy Media, the first 7 emails beat our existing flow by +14% and nearly doubled the revenue. The team at Orzy are like email doctors — they assess the situation, recommend a treatment, implement the solution, and you walk away feeling way better than before. Email is one less stressor on our plate now.
Orzy grew our DTC store by 525% in eight months. He's the man.
In November, we did over $760K in sales. I'm absolutely shocked. I just want to say THANK YOU for the clarity and direction you gave us.
I reached out to Chris to help breathe life into our email campaigns. After a quick call he understood exactly what I was trying to say, how I was trying to say it, and he ended up saying it 100x better than I could have. In an age of AI slop campaigns, Chris's attention to detail and unique writing style is one of the most important weapons any brand can have.
Chris did an amazing job of understanding our target market's desires and pain points and turning that into compelling copy. The Facebook ads he worked on for us had a 15% lower CAC just by changing out the copy, and our open and click rates increased 20% for the emails he helped with. Chris is a great copywriter and a pleasure to work with.
How our first 90 days together work
The Nothing But Bangers Sprint
90 days to turn your boring emails into bangers your list can't get enough of.
You pour so much effort into creative strategy to acquire new customers, but then send out boring, flat emails. We bring a "creative strategy" mindset to your retention channels: rewriting your emails and SMS, breathing fresh life into them so they convert, and plugging every hole across your entire retention system. We'll build and optimize every flow and campaign you ever need, across every retention channel, so you can break sales records every month.
Find Your Edge
Step one
We dig into your brand and founder story to nail the edgy, unmistakable voice your competitors are too scared to use, plus the creative-strategy angles that make your emails sound like you and nobody else.
Quick-Cash Campaigns
Step two
We put that voice to work fast with high-converting campaigns to your list, banking quick wins (and quick revenue) in the first few weeks while the bigger build happens behind the scenes.
The Automation Overhaul
Step three
We rebuild and plug every hole in your flows and SMS, welcome, abandon, post-purchase, win-back, plus subscription flows that grow, upgrade, and win back subscribers, so your backend prints revenue automatically, around the clock.
Make It Rain
(Forever)
Step four
We keep feeding your list fresh, creative concepts every month, layering in direct mail and doubling down on winners, so your sales keep trending up and you break sales records again and again.
We're not for everyone.
✓ This is for you if…
- ✓ You're a DTC brand doing $100K+/month and growing, not shrinking.
- ✓ You've got a list of 20,000+ but email is under 20% of revenue.
- ✓ You're already running paid acquisition and feeling the dependency on it.
- ✓ Email is nobody's full-time job at your company, or your team is buried.
- ✓ You've got pressure coming from your founder, board, or investors, and you want this fixed now, not next quarter.
✕ This is not for you if…
- ✕ You're under $100K/month or pre-product-market-fit.
- ✕ Your list is tiny (under 10K) or you have no acquisition system yet.
- ✕ You want to micromanage every detail instead of trusting a proven process.
- ✕ You'd rather work with the cheapest than the best.
- ✕ You're not ready to move for another few months.
We add $100K+ in 90 days,
backed by a written performance guarantee.
We only take you on as a client if we're confident we can get you a great outcome. Zero risk, all upside.
Hi, I'm Chris Orzechowski.
For the past 13 years, I've been helping DTC and B2C brands turn their email lists into their most profitable channel.
I'm best known for writing "banger emails" for big brands. You know what I'm talking about: the emails that make a ton of sales, get an insane number of replies, and make people laugh, cry, or actually feel something. The kind of emails people can't forget. And oftentimes, they're the missing ingredient keeping your brand from standing out from your competition.
Chris Orzechowski, Founder of Orzy Media
Questions? Answers:
I've been burned by email agencies before. Why is this different?
We hear this on almost every call: "I've gone through so many agencies." Most are overloaded shops that hand you to a junior, send generic campaigns, and go quiet the moment you need them. We're the opposite: a small, senior team that keeps the roster tight on purpose, so an experienced strategist is actually driving your account and thinking about it proactively. And we put our money where our mouth is with a written performance guarantee almost no one else will offer.
What does getting started actually look like?
Easy, and low-pressure. We hop on a call, dig into your account together, and find the biggest opportunities hiding in your list. If you like what you hear, we'll map out a 90-day plan and give it a shot. If it's not the right fit, no worries, you'll still walk away knowing exactly where your hidden revenue is.
How can you guarantee $100K in 90 days?
Because we only take on brands where the revenue is clearly already there: a real list being under-monetized. On the call we look at your numbers together. If we don't believe we can hit it, we'll tell you and we won't take you on. If we do take you on and miss, we keep working at no additional cost until you hit it.
Our email is "fine." We just need more strategy.
We hear that a lot. Maybe you've got an agency, a freelancer, or an internal team handling things and they're doing OK, but the account isn't getting the focus it deserves. Most brands know how to send emails. What they're missing is the overarching strategy: the campaign cadence, the promo calendar, the multi-channel sequencing, the metrics that actually tie to profit. We find a stack of hidden revenue opportunities with nearly every brand we talk to, then bring the strategy and run the execution, so it's not one more thing on your plate.
I'm worried about losing our brand voice.
Good, you should protect it. A lot of clients come to us because their current agency is clearly just pasting from ChatGPT, and their emails have become plain, safe, and forgettable. We're copy-first. We study how your brand actually talks and write with real edge: the kind of emails people open because they're genuinely fun to read. Some clients hire us just for the writing, to beat what their last agency was sending. We won't train your customers to expect a discount every time they open, and we won't flood the inbox with fluff.
But my product/industry is kind of boring.
There's no such thing as a boring industry. Only boring marketing. We've made supplements, dog treats, wine clubs, grass-fed meat and dry cleaning genuinely fun to read about. The "boring" brands are usually our favorite, because the bar in their inbox is so low that a little personality makes you impossible to ignore. If your product solves a real problem for real people, we can make it interesting. That's the whole job.
What exactly do you do, and on what platforms?
We're a full-service retention agency: automated flows (welcome, abandon, post-purchase, win-back, cross-sell, VIP, subscription), campaigns at full frequency, SMS, and PostPilot direct mail. Strategy, copy, design and sending, all handled. We work with Shopify brands on Klaviyo, Omnisend and similar ESPs.
How much does it cost?
As the great Barry Badrinath once said, "If you have to ask, you can't afford it."Kidding.(Well, half-kidding.)We'll walk through pricing on the call once we understand your list and goals. It starts with a focused 90-day sprint, then an optional monthly retainer if you want us to keep making money appear out of thin air for you (most people do, they like it). The call itself is completely free, with zero obligation.
What happens on the free strategy call?
Have you ever seen the movie Wolf of Wall Street?Again, kidding. It's actually a pretty fun call.We dig into your list, current email revenue and biggest opportunities, then map exactly where the hidden $100K+ is and how we'd unlock it in 90 days. You leave with a plan whether or not we work together.
Book your free
$100K-in-90-days roadmap call.
We'll show you exactly where the trapped $100K+ is in your list and how we'd unlock it. Free, no pressure, 30 minutes.